


Needs (Archived WIP)

by VorpalGirl



Series: A Series of Unfortunate WIPs [1]
Category: Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII
Genre: "Sane" Does Not Mean Mentally Healthy, A Series of Unfortunate WIPs, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - For Want Of A Nail (AKA One Small Change Makes A Huge Difference), Angst and Feels, Anxiety, Archived From My Tumblr, Canonical Character Death, Child Soldiers, Depression, Grief/Mourning, Grinding, Hurt/Comfort, Impulsive Decisions, Loneliness, M/M, NSFW, Not Beta Read, Not Canon Compliant, Not Suitable/Safe For Work, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Post-Modeoheim Mission Incident (Crisis Core - FFVII), Sane Sephiroth (Compilation of FFVII), Sephiroth (Compilation of FFVII) Had A Very Fucked up Youth, Sephiroth (Compilation of FFVII)-centric, Sex, This Is Unfinished But I Don't Trust Tumblr Not To Collapse So I'm Archiving it Here, To Be Edited, Touch-Starved, Touch-Starved Sephiroth (Compilation of FFVII), Trauma, Work In Progress, and it shows, unfinished but not abandoned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-04
Updated: 2018-12-04
Packaged: 2019-09-07 11:33:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16853254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VorpalGirl/pseuds/VorpalGirl
Summary: (A Work In Progress from a while back that is archived from my tumblr for safe-keeping)There’s a moment where Zack complains when he learns that Sephiroth has been allowed to skip a mission and shove it onto Zack, and Tseng points out: “You want to tell him that?” He never does, in canon.But what if Zack actually DID finally confront him about it? And it went in an…unexpected direction?Zack/Sephiroth with past Angeal/Sephiroth.





	Needs (Archived WIP)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AsreonInfusion](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AsreonInfusion/gifts).



> NOTE: If you missed it in the summary, this is a "Work In Progress" (read: unfinished work) from a while back that, in light of tumblr's recent alarming policy changes and haphazardly messy "implementation" of such, is archived from my original tumblr (vorpalgirl.tumblr.com) for safe-keeping. It was originally sent as a submission to AsreonInfusion (who seemed to like it, much to my delight). 
> 
> Since it's half-finished, that's why it's part of a series called "An Unfortunate Series of WIPS". Most of the pieces from that are FFVII, but they run a gamut on types of fic or even pairings, so there's no set order if you feel like poking through them, don't worry.
> 
> This piece is I believe several years old and has ZERO editing past what I needed to do to reformat it for AO3 (because not gonna lie, I am just...trying to Save All The Material before tumblr screws up my blog), so uh. Don't expect it to be the same quality as any of my more recent work; it could use a little polishing, even if you don't count the "missing" sections.
> 
> I do still rather like how this turned out for the most part though and may polish it up and expand it to a "full" fic. If I do, it will be posted separately, but feel free to let me know if you do actually read and enjoy what I've got so far, as this is an idea I sometimes think about going back to, and knowing if there's interest is nice incentive! :) 
> 
> Feel free to also leave concrit if you like, since this is after all a WIP.
> 
> Oh, and btw: the italicized text at the beginning is my original "notes"/introduction for Asreon. It's rambling but it does help set up the premise before you get the fic portion, which otherwise starts so In Media Res that it literally starts mid-argument.

_So, I’ve been working on this idea/fic on and off for a while, though it’s still in need of a more proper fleshed-out beginning and of continuation and_ probably _is still a little rough (though not as rough as it was before I composed this Submission)… but I’ve kinda been wanting to share it with more than just Tobi and Tekka, so why not with someone who I have a feeling will appreciate it? ;) And hey, I got you to open up your Submit again, so I might as well make use of that.  
  
(That, and maybe I can gauge how much people other than me and two awesome bffs I share everything with anyway, want to read it, idk) _  
  
_Ship is Zephiroth (Zack/Seph). Story is…I think the term is “canon divergence”? As in, canon compliant up to a point where it changes. A very_ key _point where it changes. Length is a little over 2600 words._  
  
_See, there’s this moment where Zack complains, in Crisis Core, about “Oh what is that? You spoil him!” when he learns that Sephiroth has literally been allowed to_ skip _a mission and shove it onto Zack, and Tseng points out: “ **You** want to tell him that?”, with this little chuckle like haha, yeah sure Zack, like anybody’s gonna stand up to _him _on that. You’re cute, puppy._  
  
_But what if, perchance, Zack actually DID finally confront him about it? Himself? Directly? And it went in an…unexpected direction?_

 _Basically, Zack catches him while he’s filling out some paperwork in his office, he and Sephiroth have an actual heart to heart. And Zack – still a little emotionally wounded from having to kill Angeal (sorry Handsomesauce, babe, you do still die in this one), prods him on the subject of why the HELL he refused to go on that mission, because:_  
  
  
  
  
  
“If you had been there – y-you’re fast as hell! You would have been able to take him down without killing him!”

“You realize, of course, I could only get away with ’ _accidentall_ _y_ ’ losing him in the field _so many times_ ,” Sephiroth snapped. And as Zack’s mouth fell open in surprise, as the young man paused in his tirade, wavered over how to respond to that, Sephiroth continued, his tone only growing more strident: “And praytell, _Zackary_ , what good would _capturing_ him have done if he simply ended up with the Turks? You may have friends among them, but that doesn’t protect _Angeal_ from the consequences of his own defection. Or perhaps not with the Turks – perhaps in Hojo’s lab, as much a specimen to _vivisect_ as to cure, depending on the man’s capricious whim, and _need I remind you_ , judging from the mission report that _you filed_ , Fair, Angeal didn’t exactly _want_ to come back alive, so if he wanted to _get away_ _from me_ so _bad_ l–”

Sephiroth promptly went silent, his fists clenching so hard the leather creaked.  
  
He had just blurted out far more than he had ever intended to admit.

Zack, for his part, suddenly felt…really, really bad about prodding him on that subject. “I – _Seph_ ,” he said softly, his voice cracking a little. “I’m sorry…”

And if he hadn’t said that – and if his voice hadn’t broken like he was _wounded_ – Sephiroth might have snapped at him to leave, pissed at himself for blurting out that much and determined to avoid the man altogether from then on, if possible.

But he _did_ say it, and his voice _did_ break like that. And so Sephiroth couldn’t bring himself to toss him out. But he was still deeply, deeply uncomfortable, and had no idea how to react. So for a long moment, he just focused on controlling his breathing and slowing his pulse and keeping his face a placid, neutral mask.

But he took so long to calm himself that by the time his heart was even approaching a normal resting rate for him, Zack had reached out, and placed a hand over one of his.

He spoke softly to him, gently even. “It’s okay”, he said, slowly stroking his knuckles with a thumb. “You were close, and…what he did _hurt_ you. It’d hurt anybody. It’s okay to – to _feel_ things, Seph. Shit, I’m the last person who’d judge you for that. It’s okay…”

Zack didn’t consciously think about it, but this was the first time he’d been so casual with Sephiroth as to call him by a nickname like that to his face.  
  
He didn’t know yet, either, that Angeal used to call the man by the same shortened form… affectionately, and only in private. Genesis too, on occasion, though more teasingly, after he heard Angeal slip and use it…but not like this. That gentle tone, that was more like –

It finally struck Sephiroth then that part of his misplaced anger at Zack in that moment was because he made him think of _Angeal_ – Angeal, who was never, ever coming back now.    
  
He was both briefly angered by that realization – by the reminder, really – and then immediately embarrassed and frustrated with himself for how irrational it was to blame _Zack_ for reminding him of _someone else_.  
  
Damn it, _especially_ blaming Zack. He may have been the hand to strike the final blow, but Sephiroth wasn’t so inept at reading people that he didn’t realize that Zack had told the truth about the Modeoheim mission: that Angeal had forced his hand, coerced him into fighting, and deliberately manipulated the fight so as to _push_ him into killing him.  
  
It was…unfair to Zack, especially when Zack himself had had to suffer the loss, even had to watch his own hand make the killing blow. He may not have had what Sephiroth did with Angeal, but…

The surge of emotion threatened to overwhelm him again, and he panicked a little, abruptly standing, and pulling his hands back.  
  
To his surprise, though, Zack didn’t do what most would. Anybody else on the Planet, faced with Sephiroth pulling away from them like that, would feel either awkward or afraid of triggering a greater negative reaction, and would themselves stay back, if not outright try to leave.

But this was Zack Fair. And Zack Fair didn’t do any of that. He walked around the desk; approached slowly, from the front; gingerly placed a hand on Sephiroth’s arm.  
  
Sephiroth found himself allowing it, if only out of sheer surprise.

“S'allright,” Zack murmured to him softly, encouragingly, and a moment later his thumb began to stroke his upper arm much the way it had his knuckles. “S'allright…”

Sephiroth did not normally allow much physical contact – honestly, had not let anyone touch him outside of lab work since…

Since Angeal left, he realized, with a pang.

Angeal had been just as tentative, the last time he touched him. They’d both been so worried about Genesis – missing for a month, no contact, so many other men missing alongside him, what _else_ were they supposed to think? – so he had known Sephiroth would be on edge.  
  
He had always been careful of that. So respectful of Sephiroth’s desire to control the touches he received – a desire born of years of being poked and prodded and experimented with, that had left him internally flinchy even if he rarely showed it externally. Angeal had known to approach carefully like that. But he had still been willing to approach. Just…just like this…

He hadn’t felt a touch that soothing since then, until this _exact_ moment. He found he had trouble swallowing, let alone speaking.

Zack relaxed a little, daring to touch his other arm the same way – that slow, soothing, back-and-forth rhythm repeated there. It was so much like _Angeal_ , that act, that Sephiroth had to focus hard to keep his breathing relatively even. It _hurt_ , to be reminded of what he had lost; but what hurt worse was knowing he didn’t want this touch to _stop_.

He was angry at himself for…for _craving_ this. He had told himself he didn’t need it, damn it. Not after Angeal _left_ , and certainly not after he left a _second_ _time_ , and he realized he truly had chosen either Genesis or death or _both_ , over returning to him. He had convinced himself that he didn’t want or need it any longer. Absolutely convinced himself.  
  
But he found himself suddenly craving it anyway – craving it more than ever. Like an addict being giving their drug of choice after months on the wagon.

“I’m _pathetic_ ,” he rasped bitterly.

“Shh, no you’re not,” Zack replied, bumping his forehead gently against the taller man’s chin. “You’re not, okay? You’re just hurting. Which is understandable, all right?” he looked up at him, those brilliant blue eyes filled with…with _care_ , and acceptance. Acceptance mirrored in the small, sweet smile on his lips, as he reached up with one hand to stroke his hair. “Having _needs_ doesn’t make you pathetic, Seph. It’s normal.”

Sephiroth would never be sure of the exact thing that triggered it. Was it the look in his eyes? The hand tenderly stroking his hair? Perhaps it was that smile: not the young SOLDIER’s usual chipper grin or playful smirk, it was… _soft_. Encouraging. He could certainly believe it was the smile. Though…maybe it was all of the above. Maybe it was everything. Maybe it was just Zack Fair, being Zack Fair.  
  
But whatever it was, Sephiroth found himself transfixed. Keenly aware of the soothing touch at his arm and at his scalp; of the heat of his body; of the fact that no one had been so _close_ to him in more months than he dared acknowledge and how soft those lips looked and that he wanted so very much to  –  
  
– he acted before he his higher brain functions could catch up with the lower ones, and it took him a long, rather pleasant but then suddenly very horrifying moment, to realize that he had leant down and captured Zack’s lips with his own.

Hell, it took a moment for even _Zack_ to realize that that had happened; though Sephiroth had felt the brush of eyelashes from what was no doubt a very _surprised_ blink, it was a surprisingly long time before Fair even breathed again – and when he did, it was more of a gasp, sharply catching in his throat. Or, nose, technically, since his mouth was rather busy at the time.

It was that sound that snapped Sephiroth out of it enough to realize the flagrant and _shameful_ trespass he had just committed. He pulled his face back quickly, horrified at his own actions.

He began to stumble out an apology, yet he only got as far as “Zack, I –” before he was interrupted. And not in the way he would have expected.  
  
He had automatically assumed there would be a reaction of…well, anger, perhaps. Shock, at minimum. Confusion, disgust, embarrassment – all clear possibilities. Perhaps even all of the above, combined.  
  
But he didn’t anticipate that, given a brief moment to recover, those lips would capture his own right back.  
  
In fact, it took him a moment to register he was being kissed again. By the time he had, Zack’s hands had slipped to either side of his head; had slid into his hair; were making small, gentle movements there and it felt –  
  
Sephiroth let out a deep moan, almost a whimper. A sound that communicated more about his desire in that given moment than any words ever could.  
  
Zack responded by pressing his lips even more firmly against his; parting them, inviting Sephiroth to deepen the kiss even as his chest arched against him; he could feel Zack’s warmth under the soft fabric of his sweater, could feel the cloth pressing against his own mostly-bare chest, and the feel of it reminded him of the sensations of kissing Ange—  
  
_No!_ he thought desperately. He didn’t _want_ to think of that! Angeal was – was _never_ coming back, had literally chosen _death_ over coming back, had chosen Genesis over him anyway, so _why_? Why couldn’t he get him out of his head!?  
  
He knew why, of course: he just hadn’t wanted to admit it.  
  
He had been in love.

They had never called it that, of course; had never once uttered the words. Neither of them. Neither had Genesis, for that matter, despite his romanticism and his love of the dramatic.  But it had been there, nonetheless. It had been – an understanding, after all they had been through together, all they had shared. Or at least, it had seemed that way.

He knew what he wanted most; he also knew he couldn’t have it. Would…could _never_ have it, not ever again, and the pain of that pulled a certain desperate panic out of him, a desire for intimacy stronger than any he had ever felt; stronger even than when they had been in Wutai during the early parts of the War, half-convinced they wouldn’t make it out alive. Worse than _that_ , even, worse even than that, because the one who would normally _give_ him that intimacy, was gone forever…  
  
But…  
  
But there was a pair of soft, sympathetic lips on his; a pair of gloved hands gently tangled in his hair, a chest arching against his. Someone who had not judged him for his moment of weakness nor feared him for his strength; someone who had been unafraid to touch him, but careful not to overstep out of consideration, someone who…

…who was kissing him _back_ ; who was inviting him in, who was _willing_. And who was touching him _just_ _right_ …

Only the barest moment’s hesitation separated that realization from his decision to firmly, _passionately_ , deepen the kiss. To slip a hand into Zack’s hair. To place the other on his waist. To hold him closer.  
  
Later he would wonder how much time actually passed between then and pressing Zack against the wall, because it seemed like none at all.

There was no panic – only surprise – on Zack’s part; surprise he quickly recovered from, back arching again, as if encouraging it, encouraging _him_.

And then Sephiroth’s hands were roving, and so were Zack’s; but while Zack’s arms stayed relatively open – loose around him, as if inviting him to touch as much as he wanted, as if to allow either stopping or continuing with ease – Sephiroth’s closed in; tightly gripped; demanded he stay. Zack didn’t protest. Didn’t ask him to stop. Did the opposite: tilted his head, baring his throat to him when their kiss-swollen lips separated.

Trusted him with his jugular.

And then Sephiroth was placing kisses and running teeth along that throat, enjoying the way his breath caught; was gripping his buttocks, was lifting him, was pressing closer. And suddenly Zack’s legs were wrapped around his torso and his arms were around his neck and their erections were meeting in the middle; and Zack’s hands were in his hair again, and Zack’s breath was labored and his dark skin was flushed and both of them groaned with a desperate need, and hearing Zack _moan_ his name in the heat of the moment, was enough to send Sephiroth very rapidly over the edge.

He was so stunned by how quickly it had happened – in particular, going over the _edge_ like that – that it actually tore a small, gasping cry from his throat; he felt the pleasure crash over and through him – intense, but all too brief, passing through like a Bolt.

Fortunately he didn’t lose complete control of himself, or he would have dropped poor Zack on the tile floor. Which was only tile because he hated the idea of having carpets periodically shampooed, and had demanded it.

What a weird thing to focus on in a moment like that, he thought dazedly. He forced himself to more coherency; Zack. He needed to check on Zack.  
  
Zack was…well. He was incredibly turned on, from the looks of it. And feel of it. And _sound_ of it, given he was _whimpering_ with need.

How shameful, Sephiroth realized, taking in the Gongagan’s flushed skin, his trembling and squirming; he had been so caught up in his own…desire, that not only had he taken advantage of Angeal’s protege, he had – had left him _hanging_ , right on the cusp.  
  
Well, the sin had already been committed, he supposed; the least he could do was not be any more selfish than he already had been.   
  
He began to move his hips again, and was relieved to get an immediate response: a soft moan, a leaning back of the head, an arching of the back and squirming of the pelvis that indicated that it Felt Really Good. Confirmed, when Zack softly gasped: “Don’t…don’t stop. _Please_ …”

So he didn’t. He kept going, grinding against Zack until the younger man convulsed, gripped him tight, let out a small cry of release. Kept going even then, in fact, just to make sure he had been properly pulled through his climax; Zack gave a full-body shudder at that, a small grunt that indicated either the completion of his orgasm, or an aftershock. Sephiroth stopped only when he began to feel Zack relax against him, breathless and almost boneless. On impulse, he placed another kiss on Zack’s throat, and Zack made a strange, pleased little sound in response.   
  
A moment later, to Sephiroth’s surprise, he actually _giggled_ , and noted: “We’re gonna have to change our clothes now, aren’t we…”   
  
Taking in the…state of the both of them, Sephiroth was forced to agree. 


End file.
